Movies

DF and I share quality time together by watching movies.

Uh, well, it’s not really that we go to theaters or watch DVDs while sitting on the couch, but we play movies simultaneously on our own computers. Pretty weird, huh?

I find it kind of cool and romantic, in its own way. We open up our Skype cams then find a good movie to watch. When we’ve settled on a movie we just sit back and watch.

We always try to watch it simultaneously–we’re usually just seconds apart when watching. And we do wait: when one of us realizes that one of us is behind, we wait til we catch up to each other. Neat.

We have a particular preference for Disney animated movies, but DF will surely not admit to that. We bonded over The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and laughed while we did the rhyme, “Up, down, touch the ground, puts me in the mood. Up, down, touch the ground, in the mood for food.”

Later on DF will be saying, “I am stout round and I have found speaking poundage wise. I improve my apetite when I exercise.” Haha.

It feels a lot like we’re actually together. But we’re not. We keep hoping that one day we will be able to just sit on the couch, cuddled together with a DVD on.

I hope everyday for that, to be with him. It breaks my heart to think about it, having him, but not really having him.

Image taken from here.

I want to hold his hand

I may have reached the end of all desperation.

You see, it’s been a long time since we’ve both been trying to work this out, trying to find a way for at least one of us to get a plane ticket to be with each other. Everyday that we can’t find a way, we lose some of the hope we had.

I cannot tell you how much it has hurt the two of us.

DF has especially been depressed. I hurt everyday in feeling his pain, even if I’m thousands of miles away.

There is somehow that connection between the two of us that I feel his hurt and anger even if he hasn’t said anything at all. Just for instance, two weekends ago I’ve felt the instinct that he was stressed more than the usual, and when we did finally get to talk, he opened up about being stressed over taking care of his sister’s kids while they were away, and we were both surprised that my instinct was correct.

I look at couples and I’m surprised how many of them take for granted the time they spend with each other. Many couples I see are arguing about dates, quality time, and even the smallest things like chores, clothes, dinner… It goes on.

To us, it’s already enough that we can hold each others’ hands. It’s a very little thing to ask, to be able to hold his hand.

How can it be that I’ve met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, and not even be able to hold his hand?

I know that not too many people will be able to help us out, but at the very least, when you are with your significant other, hold his hand, never let it go, and tell him you love him. I hope that you may never know the kind of pain that we go through, just wanting the smallest of moments that people take for granted everyday.

Image taken from here.

Wishlists

When I read the word wishlist on so many blogs and websites, I usually think Amazon and online shopping and online registries. I have to be honest and admit that I used to think wishlists were a bad idea; in a moment I shunned it as too materialistic.

But now that I’m actually writing a blog that evolves around a wish, I realize it’s not really materialistic to want something that can be attained through something material.

The idea of this blog came from wishlists: I’ve seen many people list down and blog (and then send the link to ask their friends, hahahaha) for what they want for Christmas, birthday, or other holidays that involve gifts.

The thought came to me: if I were to make a wishlist of my own, what would I want?

The usual request for a new gadget came to mind (new phone/laptop/camera) but the desire for it wasn’t actually as big as the first wish I want to be fulfilled: for me and DF to be together.

Mind you, the part of wanting to be with my significant other can be attained with something material (i.e. a plane ticket), but the wish is something truly more than just an international flight: a wish to be with the person I love the most.

So yes, I am writing a wishlist blog with only one wish in it: to be with him. He found me, I found him, and now we’re trying to find a way to be with each other.

Image taken from here.

The idea of this blog came from wishlists: I’ve seen many people list down and blog (and then send the link to ask their friends, hahahaha) for what they want for Christmas, birthday, or other holidays that involve gifts.

Let me tell you about DF

Before I begin the story of us, I want to tell you about DF. He wasn’t always called DF. It was a pet name I coined for him, out of an inside joke between the two of us. I want to tell you the story why I call him DF.

DF wears glasses. He’s actually blind without them. I think they’re adorable, but sometimes I wish he would not hide his hazel eyes with his black rectangular frames. DF is also a redhead, which makes him twice as adorable to me.

DF, because he’s helpless without his glasses, never takes them off. He even wears them to sleep (I should know, there are countless times he has fallen asleep while we were on Skype and he wears his glasses to bed).

Now, DF is also clumsy with his glasses. He left his glasses on the couch, forgot it was there, and crack. The left arm of his frames was dangling for dear life. On him the glasses were lopsided.

He had another accident by way of his nephew breaking the left arm off all the way. As helpless as he is without his glasses, he continued to wear them even without the left arm.

So the frame hung on his nose, and to keep it from falling off his face he taped the left side to his left temple. It was the most hilarious thing. I teased him and called him dorkface–hence, DF.

I felt sorry for him for having to wear those frames, but I still couldn’t stop laughing at the situation. He had new frames made, but the name still stuck, and to this day I still call him dorkface, or DF for short.

(A few times DF can be dorky, but it’s all part of his charm. DF isn’t actually a dork by my standards of a dork; I really think he’s more of a punk, but that will be for a new post later on.)

My wish for just one moment

People say love is universal. That no matter who you are, where you live, what your status is in life, what you believe in, you can still find love.

They say love can be found in all corners of the smallest and the biggest of rooms. I’ve found love in a place without walls.

My love story is unusual but not quite, because thinking about it, people do find themselves living the same story as mine.

Two days after my birthday last year I had a very unusual but memorable evening. I met a guy and he is absolutely wonderful. I had not quite expected to meet someone I would like, as I have not really been trying to go meeting guys and dating. I was single for more than a year and I loved that fact, but I didn’t know that on that evening I would be meeting someone who would totally change me.

Our discussion that evening is a blur to me now. It was something about classic rock, sinatra, politics, Obama, smiles, history, and even underwear preference. I was having the time of my life.

Then everyday we spent time just talking. It didn’t really matter what we talked about. We have exchanged lively discussions on movies and BGT contestants, heated debates on politics, gun control, and protest rallies, agreements on issues like child pornography, encouraging words during frustrating situations, and even advice on health concerns.

We even enjoy movies together. One thing in common between the two of us is our love for classic movies and Disney animated films. He taught me the love for war epics, and I opened him to non-Hollywood comedies. We find time to watch the movies we enjoy together.

I’m happy. It was as if I’ve found someone who I can relate to and who understands me well. We often had times when we told each other that we’ve found someone who feels like we’ve known for our entire lives. Cliche. But love is a big cliche, as I found out.

The only thing we have to endure is that even if we have each other, we don’t really have each other. We are so near each other yet we are so far.

You see, the two of us met online, and we are separated by thousands of miles and a very big ocean.

We’ve spent countless hours on Skype and Y!M. We have been together for nine months and the only thing we desire is to have that one moment to finally meet each other.

People write wishlists on different blogs everyday. I only have one wish, and that is to have just one moment with him. It is enough for me to have a moment to touch his face, to hold his hand, to lean my head on his shoulder, to kiss his beautifully curved lips. Maybe it would be nice, too, to finally watch a movie all curled up on the couch with me in his arms, instead of watching a movie with him that plays in our respective computers simultaneously.

I’ve always believed that love is universal, but I never thought it would be as universal as this. We come from different countries and different cultures (and yes this has sometimes brought disagreements between the two of us), but these have not been barriers to our having a relationship.

I’m a twenty-something recent university graduate, and he’s a twenty-something prospect marine. The jobs I’ve held throughout my college life were only enough to support my tuition and my allowance, and the economic downturn has been hard on him, and in our current situation, we cannot finance a plane fare for either one of us.

It is here that I look to people’s hearts and seek their generosity. We are trying to raise two thousand dollars that would cover plane fare for one of us, just so we can have one moment to be together.

I hope that someone out there may be able to help us in fulfilling this dream. I know I’m not too old to believe in happy-ever-afters, and I hope you still believe in it enough to make our dream come true.

Image taken from here.